DEFINITION OF INSANITY
Insanity is driving through Taco Bell
after a late shift at Lowe’s
and eating in the car
certain that somehow –
unlike every other attempt ever –
you will not end up with cheese,
lettuce, taco sauce and meat
covering your chest,
decorating your belly mantle
and littering your lap.
And you’ll try again soon –
of course you will –
confident this time of victory
and arriving home unscathed.
TRUE TALES FROM THE SALES FLOOR
Let’s start over.
Try to begin our conversation
without first insulting me
and everyone I work with.
It’s not a good idea, you see,
to piss off the very people
you are turning to for help.
And I’ll be glad to help –
I really will –
but you’ve to stop acting
like the orifice you referenced
when this whole thing began.
OK?
Not every poem need be deadly serious; eh? I believe I coined a new word in the first poem. (Belly mantle; noun. The ridge created between the breast and the belly when an overweight male is seated.)
Subscribe to be notified of new posts; it’s free.
Leave a comment so I know you were here. Tell a friend, too.
Thanks for stopping by.
Joseph Neely, all rights reserved
Come back for a new poem
every Monday.
The Occasional Poem 
I’m giving you full credit for the word.
LikeLike
Hey Joe, you could probably place an award for Helpful Hardware Man of The Month on top of your belly mantle 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like that idea!
LikeLike
Belly Mantle lol – love it!
LikeLike
Belly Mantle is a classic, absolutely love it! Having spent some time in retail customers like that blow my mind and they are everywhere. Good luck keeping you taco stuffed old pal!
LikeLike
All too relatable.
LikeLike
Love it…Belly Mantle.
Don will be working on his.
He has no choice. He had major reconstructive foot surgery yesterday. When he comes home today he is pretty much bed bound. He needs to keep his foot elevated, he will be at my mercy. No continual up and down for “snacks”.
Don’t worry, the poor guy will not be deprived.
I’m not THAT cruel.
Enjoy your day at Lowe’s. I’m sure you ARE, the Helpful Hardware Man!
Love ya!
LikeLike
These are amazing lol! I’ve waged this war many times Joe, but the taco always wins. Keep up the good work, looking forward to reading weekly! 🙂
LikeLike
Yes . . . the taco always wins, which, come to think of it, would be a good name for this poem! Thanks for visiting my new blog.
LikeLike
I love the retail worker blues poems. Gosh! Sad how rude folks can be. I confess I too have a mantle! Should I try to lose it before the 5oth reunion? Nah! Come as you are.
LikeLiked by 1 person