Retail Worker Blues

DEFINITION OF INSANITY

Insanity is driving through Taco Bell
after a late shift at Lowe’s
and eating in the car
certain that somehow –
unlike every other attempt ever –
you will not end up with cheese,
lettuce, taco sauce and meat
covering your chest,
decorating your belly mantle
and littering your lap.

And you’ll try again soon –
of course you will –
confident this time of victory
and arriving home unscathed.

TRUE TALES FROM THE SALES FLOOR

Let’s start over.

Try to begin our conversation
without first insulting me
and everyone I work with.
It’s not a good idea, you see,
to piss off the very people
you are turning to for help.
And I’ll be glad to help –
I really will –
but you’ve to stop acting
like the orifice you referenced
when this whole thing began.

OK?

Been there, done that.

Not every poem need be deadly serious; eh? I believe I coined a new word in the first poem. (Belly mantle; noun. The ridge created between the breast and the belly when an overweight male is seated.)

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Joseph Neely, all rights reserved

Come back for a new poem

every Monday.

9 thoughts on “Retail Worker Blues

  1. Belly Mantle is a classic, absolutely love it! Having spent some time in retail customers like that blow my mind and they are everywhere. Good luck keeping you taco stuffed old pal!

    Like

  2. Love it…Belly Mantle.
    Don will be working on his.
    He has no choice. He had major reconstructive foot surgery yesterday. When he comes home today he is pretty much bed bound. He needs to keep his foot elevated, he will be at my mercy. No continual up and down for “snacks”.
    Don’t worry, the poor guy will not be deprived.
    I’m not THAT cruel.
    Enjoy your day at Lowe’s. I’m sure you ARE, the Helpful Hardware Man!
    Love ya!

    Like

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